I tried everything! Really???
Where did our best thinking get us? We concocted new ways to keep things going and the shame hidden. But at some point, the scorn of the ones who loved us most rang true. We had that moment when we quietly admitted to ourselves: “I’m stuck. And I can’t break free.”
So we tried everything that our best thinking offered — to fix ourselves. We tried quitting. We tried control. We tried tapering. Some of us even tried moving. But there we were, everywhere we went. Geography didn’t cure. Control didn’t work. Tapering? What a joke. We had to come to the end of ourselves to get to the beginning of recovery.
“I’m always ready to learn,” quipped Churchill, “I just don’t like being taught.” Addiction’s schools are different than ours. We wanted Princeton; addiction gave us prison. We prefer Yale. Addiction chooses jail. Just as addiction’s power — greater than ours — kept us in prison (“We admitted we were powerless…”) it would take a Power greater than ourselves to set us free. That’s what the second of twelve steps is all about:
“We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.” –Step 2: The Twelve Steps
After his second DUI, Michael Phelps — the most decorated athlete in history — found himself in rehab. No one but Michael can say what the full extent of his relationship with addiction is, but we do know this: Every swimmer in the world wants to beat Phelps. He’s the one to beat. But there’s something even stronger than Phelps. Addiction swims longer, and eventually faster, every time.
So what is a Power greater than ourselves and what does it involve? Is it treatment? Is it rehab? Is it therapy? Is it religion? What is it? Stay tuned to this blog to learn all about it — more will be revealed.